How difficult a woman’s life can be? In this new era, we are multi tasking home maker, economy drivers, work force contributors, mankind duplicator, etc.
We are almost everything! We posses special emo swings, have a different anatomy structure from man which make us age and enter menopause faster than men… It seems like Women are born to enjoy suffering…
When I had my menses visiting me on Monday, it comes with added value services of stomach flu plus diarrhea…. Stomach cramps, Stomach flu, diarrhea and body ache all developed overnight… I felt like I am dying the next day…
Yes.. Although it did recover slowly… but still the side effect of diarrhea is making me crazy…
For the whole of yesterday and today, I am suffering from itchy asshole! The itch was caused by the abrasion from the aggressive stool outputting!
Damn… here it goes again… Itchy!!!!
Saturday 27 March 2010
Tuesday 23 March 2010
Diary for this week..
All these months, I have been busying with helping in make up for Soka Youth Musical. The makeup group started the training in early January. Since then, we have been meeting up every week right from makeup lessons to trial make up for the cast, to rehearsals and eventually to the actual run when the show kick started on the 13th of March.
This weekend will be the end of 18 shows! I can't wait for it to finish so as ending the pain to travel so bloody far to the other end of Singapore and the misery to wake up at the crack of dawn during weekends in order to reach there at 7am! I missed having breakfast and spending time with my mum... I sometimes wonder how she spends her Sundays for the last couple of months. But I do have mixed feelings too. The rapport and friendships that I have developed with the makeup girls, the casts and other helpers in the show make me wana crave for more shows...
I cannot claim that I have grown a lot in the making of these shows, I mean in terms of spiritually. But I do see a significant change in my courage to face some of the challenges that I had feared in the past. With constant drilling of some religious encouragements and from readings, I think I have built up enough courage to face many things.
One interesting fact that I have noticed; many single ywds and ymds, at my age or older who are helping out, face relationship karma and some of them came to help in hope that the fortune received will benefit them in getting good wives or husbands. But...I did not come with this anticipation although I do have plans to settle down for a family one day.
One interesting fact that I have noticed; many single ywds and ymds, at my age or older who are helping out, face relationship karma and some of them came to help in hope that the fortune received will benefit them in getting good wives or husbands. But...I did not come with this anticipation although I do have plans to settle down for a family one day.
This makes me wonder if I am abnormal or not? Or am I really becoming lesbian? hum... Need to do more self searching to find out more...
Tuesday 9 March 2010
These few days or weeks!
These few weeks, especially these few days.... I have been waking up at 5plus or 6plus AM and going home only after 7 or most of the times reaching home only seconds before midnight...
My fortune tells that I will prosperous in this tiger year... don't tell me slogging to death is one of the way to prosperous?!
Last night, I forced myself to go for a run, thinking that maybe a run will energize my mind... But the minute my legs start to pace itself faster, I felt the ligaments and muscles were tearing apart... I know my body was tired... But I did expect that it is tired till this extend...
I am tired.. I feeeeeeeeel so bloody tired.... I can’t wait for this summit (event at work) to end.... I felt that I am all numb right now.... I want a break! I want to feel my nerves and muscles again!
My fortune tells that I will prosperous in this tiger year... don't tell me slogging to death is one of the way to prosperous?!
Last night, I forced myself to go for a run, thinking that maybe a run will energize my mind... But the minute my legs start to pace itself faster, I felt the ligaments and muscles were tearing apart... I know my body was tired... But I did expect that it is tired till this extend...
I am tired.. I feeeeeeeeel so bloody tired.... I can’t wait for this summit (event at work) to end.... I felt that I am all numb right now.... I want a break! I want to feel my nerves and muscles again!
Tuesday 2 March 2010
恼人的过去，我讨厌你！
I thought I had loooooooooong forgotten my hurtful past, I thought I had just managed to overcome the fear of facing reality, I thought everything has been running smoothly for me....
I geared up all my energy to face this challenging year with all plans and activities lined up ahead...
Just as I thought it will run smoothly... The painful past started to hunt me back! Is this one of the effect that I have stirred up since I have been chatting hard core-ly to expiate my negative karma? I think sooo……
Last Friday, I felt that I have overcome the fear of travelling to the T place... (well, bcos the T place was somewhere I never want to step into since 3 years ago after that r/s.) During December last yr, I was approached to do make ups for some cast show running in March. I immediately accepted it but was told a bad news that the event place is at the T place.
I was mission-ed to travel to the T place every weekend to do make up for the shows. At the start of it, I travelled there fearing that I might bump into him, his friends or his families. I wore sunglasses and walked discreetly so as not to catch any attention! When days passed by with so many joyful chanting that I have put in, I feel that I have recovered, I have put down everything and I am ready to face the music, anytime and anywhere.
Moreover my prayers have been fulfilled... that is to overcome this fear and I did!
Therefore, I wrote blog dedicated to my ex to thank him for making me a better person and I mean it. I made it as the full stop for the memories I had with him. I felt that I am fully geared up to tackle whatever that comes to me....
Then, the very next day..... While doing the make up with the group I am in, I chit chatted with one of the ICs during breaks. We found out that we have got common friend... that common friend is no other than ex's sister! That IC is a very good friend of his sister too... Upon knowing that, it’s like a needle poking the tyre... haha.. pong chek half way!
Memories, memories, memories rushed into my brain vigorously that night... But I did recover my senses quite fast! I was okay, up and alive the next day!
But this did not last looooonnng till another hurting past came up again... when they don't come... they don't come at all.. When they come... damn! They came in BIG BULK!!
Just now as I was reciting my gongyo, my mum came into my room and was eager to speak to me. She told me that she met one of my colleagues back in the sales days. That colleague no longer work under that boss anymore, encountering the same treatment as I had 4 yrs ago where I broke ties with other colleagues at that time due to the backstabs I suffered from the boss. This colleague very much wanted to connect with me again and urged my mum to get me to call her for catch ups. (I am still deciding whether I should contact her or not.)
She also told my mum that another colleague also left because of a similar issue. The next thing that I am worried for are my long time friends who are also working there - LH & SK. I hoped they are spared from all these.
Again, I was left thinking about the painful past tonight....still stunned by the fact that the colleagues had also left the organisation.
I know that I can overcome this (thinking too much) for sure with such high life force that I possess now. I will chant more to quickly expiate away the negative karma and so they will not keep floating out and making me pounder thoughts over it.
I will also put in prayers for LH and SK to be spared from all these and that colleagues to have a healthy and happy life.
Although I can recover easily but I hoped that these encounters don’t happen again… I don’t like it… : |
I geared up all my energy to face this challenging year with all plans and activities lined up ahead...
Just as I thought it will run smoothly... The painful past started to hunt me back! Is this one of the effect that I have stirred up since I have been chatting hard core-ly to expiate my negative karma? I think sooo……
Last Friday, I felt that I have overcome the fear of travelling to the T place... (well, bcos the T place was somewhere I never want to step into since 3 years ago after that r/s.) During December last yr, I was approached to do make ups for some cast show running in March. I immediately accepted it but was told a bad news that the event place is at the T place.
I was mission-ed to travel to the T place every weekend to do make up for the shows. At the start of it, I travelled there fearing that I might bump into him, his friends or his families. I wore sunglasses and walked discreetly so as not to catch any attention! When days passed by with so many joyful chanting that I have put in, I feel that I have recovered, I have put down everything and I am ready to face the music, anytime and anywhere.
Moreover my prayers have been fulfilled... that is to overcome this fear and I did!
Therefore, I wrote blog dedicated to my ex to thank him for making me a better person and I mean it. I made it as the full stop for the memories I had with him. I felt that I am fully geared up to tackle whatever that comes to me....
Then, the very next day..... While doing the make up with the group I am in, I chit chatted with one of the ICs during breaks. We found out that we have got common friend... that common friend is no other than ex's sister! That IC is a very good friend of his sister too... Upon knowing that, it’s like a needle poking the tyre... haha.. pong chek half way!
Memories, memories, memories rushed into my brain vigorously that night... But I did recover my senses quite fast! I was okay, up and alive the next day!
But this did not last looooonnng till another hurting past came up again... when they don't come... they don't come at all.. When they come... damn! They came in BIG BULK!!
Just now as I was reciting my gongyo, my mum came into my room and was eager to speak to me. She told me that she met one of my colleagues back in the sales days. That colleague no longer work under that boss anymore, encountering the same treatment as I had 4 yrs ago where I broke ties with other colleagues at that time due to the backstabs I suffered from the boss. This colleague very much wanted to connect with me again and urged my mum to get me to call her for catch ups. (I am still deciding whether I should contact her or not.)
She also told my mum that another colleague also left because of a similar issue. The next thing that I am worried for are my long time friends who are also working there - LH & SK. I hoped they are spared from all these.
Again, I was left thinking about the painful past tonight....still stunned by the fact that the colleagues had also left the organisation.
I know that I can overcome this (thinking too much) for sure with such high life force that I possess now. I will chant more to quickly expiate away the negative karma and so they will not keep floating out and making me pounder thoughts over it.
I will also put in prayers for LH and SK to be spared from all these and that colleagues to have a healthy and happy life.
Although I can recover easily but I hoped that these encounters don’t happen again… I don’t like it… : |
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