today's weather... Thundering..

Just as I was talking to my friends about the saddest incident I went through yesterday... I realized my mum could have know that I was crying in the room all day...

Several times she try to talk to me...1st time, to put the folded panties on my bed. 2nd time to put the 2nd pile of panties on my bed, 3rd time where I already locked the door and she was knocking on the door while trying to open,she said she accidentally off the network. 4th time she knock on the door again and she wanted to speak to me...

everytime she comes, I show her my five fingers... looking at my phone, I said..I am busy in a cold tone (actually I am trying not to look at her directly so that she won't be able to see my watery face).

The last two time, she wanted to open the door and yet I refuse to open it. She said she wanted to talk to me and I said I wasnt free...Such a failure I am... damn myself...I am sure she is worried for me but I am too ashame to show my sobbing state... fearing that she will scold me crazy lah... siao lah.. blar blar...

haiz.. such a failure... when will I be able to be strong enough to face the way my mum show concern on me? just when?

Lesson learnt today..

1. When people ask you about how is the charactor of somebody, DONOT say the frank words. They merely will take in only the negetive comments.

2. People will only take you as badmouthing the person even when you told them that altot like this.. but overall she is a good person, friend or with some other better qualities.

3. Being KPO or FRANK only bring you troubles and nothing else...

4. When an overly express person met up with an overly analysed and an overly reacted person... the world turns upside down..

5. Jumping into conclusion is the first reaction for most people without doing deeper research...

6. Now I realised that a bestie is someone who wont doubt or misunderstand you in any circumstances. Even when someone tell her that u badmouth about her. She will ask and listen to your explaination before she jumps into conclusion. Thank you, Dolly for standing by me all these years.

今天心情 - 雨天

I came home, half sober, half drunken!
Many times, we always eXpressed ourselves out of pique! I did this exactly today! And only bcos I am this drunken,I Then can write this now!

Flipping up e food net, I saw a pizza my mum might have purposely left it for me!
Guilt start to fill me up to my brain from my feet! I started sobbing and wonder if I have been too harsh to her during dinner time js now.

Like a rebellious teenage, I get mad with my Sis sending me a SMS to ask if I wan to stay hm for my niece birthday cutting. Since my brother in law did not bring out the specially prepared princess cake when I m already halfway walking to e mrt,heading JP! My mum called to specially ask where I m. BUt all I cod think of is to brush
her off my Phone! Telling her that, if they wan to go hm, go hm, finished dinner already, go hm den go hm, no need to wait for me! I exclaimed!!!

Personally I was real mad with my sis's disorganised skill and e denial to accept suggest or anxiety to get things done..but I had it on my mum! Bloody karma I have formed! She kind of even called me during my dinner time to find an excuse to ask if pizza hut sells any 'fish' food which she wants to buy for my bro that I merely know its an excuse to check that I am alright! She actually feels bad! :(

I just can't help but felt awful that I have made my mum feel this way!I m sure she did feel bad to have make me feel mad during dinner! Even if its a few secondS that she feel that way, its already sinful enough for me liao!!!!